If you notice he prioritizes time with you over other commitments, this is a strong sign of affection. If you haven’t already, consider reading Undetectable=Untransmittable.
Ghosting
I’m happy to report that all this paranormal activity isn’t unique to our world, but it is ours too. Many of us are pushing back against heteronormative relationship models, which makes sense.
The effort he puts into creating these moments can reveal a lot about his true feelings and intentions, highlighting the difference between mere friendship and a budding romance.
Sign 3: He Shows Genuine Interest in Your Life
Interest in another person’s life is a hallmark of attraction. For instance, if he recalls your favorite band or the book you mentioned loving, it shows that he is not just passively listening but is genuinely interested in what makes you tick.
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We recommend being open-minded to the idea that your prince charming may arrive in different packaging than you expect. The way he listens to you—whether he asks follow-up questions or shows genuine curiosity about your opinions—can also reveal much about his level of interest.
Moreover, enthusiastic responses and a willingness to engage in long conversations can indicate a level of interest beyond mere friendship.
Consider the context—he may simply be friendly, but if his efforts distinctly seem directed toward you and show a consistent pattern, it’s worth noting his deeper intentions.
If he often texts you just to check in or shares updates about his day, it could be indicative of affection. An open conversation with a doctor about your lifestyle might be helpful to identify whether PrEP and or DoxyPEP might be right for you to prevent the transmission of infections.
This kind of dialogue can lead to meaningful conversations that allow both of you to share your values and life goals, paving the way for a more profound understanding of each other. Neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart explains that women release oxytocin every time they have sex, which can lead to falling in love after sexual connection.
Sometimes what looks like mismatched desire is actually about unmet needs for safety, validation, or emotional connection.
There's also a neurochemical piece worth understanding. You might also notice that he mirrors your body language, a subconscious way of establishing a connection. If a gay guy likes you, he will often express curiosity about various facets of your life, such as your interests, hobbies, and even your background.
The Power of Active Listening
When he asks questions about your life and shows genuine attentiveness, it’s a strong indication that he is invested in you.
If he frequently makes plans or suggests activities, it signals that he enjoys your company and wants to be a part of your life.
Analyzing His Actions
Observe how often he reaches out to you or initiates plans. Many of us had no models for healthy gay male relationships growing up, and questioning internalized beliefs is a necessary part of our self-actualization process.
Our cultures, nuanced relationships, and personal preferences play a huge role here, and a little patience might go a long way if you find someone who wields their queerness differently than you. An evolutionary mechanism that helped men spread their genes widely while eventually bonding with a primary partner.
For gay men, this means both partners are operating with this same neurochemical pattern.
If he consistently praises your style, intelligence, or humor, it can be a sign he is interested in you romantically.
Moreover, the specific types of compliments he gives can offer insight. Pay attention to how he interacts with others; if he treats you differently than his other friends, that could be a significant clue.
Additionally, if you notice he often seeks opportunities to be alone with you, or if his demeanor changes noticeably when it’s just the two of you, he might just be interested in you romantically.
One partner might pursue more sexual variety.
If you’re not apt to delay intimacy and prefer more freedom in this area, you’ll get no shame from us. If he seems genuinely excited or a bit flustered when giving you praise, it might hint at his feelings for you.
Understanding the nuances of attraction can sometimes be challenging, especially when trying to decipher the feelings of someone you believe may be interested in you.
When you’re out there dating someone older or younger, it’s worth zooming out for a second to consider their experience (and ask questions!) as that context might make it easier to foster real connection.
A client recently told me he'd agreed to open his relationship because “that’s just what gay couples do." Six months later, he was miserable.
“It’s not that open relationships are bad,” he said.
But if the underlying defensive structures aren't addressed, the same patterns show up in the open relationship.